Reflecting on the past....

This week is a very hard one for me.

On the 12th of Feb 2016, I had my first mammogram and biopsy. I remember, I cried non stop during the whole biopsy. Firstly the biopsy was so sore and secondly, when the dr said it looks like CANCER.

The 13th/14th/15th was a big blur. The words cancer. Me thinking, don’t jump to conclusions, wait for the results.

On the 16th Feb 2016. The words arrived. You have breast cancer. And my life fell apart. The second blow was, it had spread to the lymph nodes. After seeing a dr 6 months earlier saying it’s nothing. My daughter was 1 and a half. She still needed a mom. I wasn’t ready to leave her. The word chemo arrived after cancer and wow reality set in. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Life for me had changed in a matter of seconds.

As the days and weeks followed. Meetings, deciding which oncologist to go with. Emotions where so high that I cried almost every night.

That day arrived on the 11th of March 2016 for my first red devil chemo to go in. The medi lady had called it the red angel, saying it’s the angel so look after me. And then as I sat in the chemo chair it’s like reality arrived. It was time. The nurse explained everything, and as she got ready the tears where already following. Before the needle was even in. The nurse was so nice saying and now, I haven’t done anything and you crying already. We had a lovely lady in front of us sitting with a friend that was fighting lung cancer who gave us the lowdown on what to bring and to eat as much as I can during chemo. Making us feel at home. The first night was beyond me. I felt so terrible, I cried and cried. Felt like my heart was outside my body beating so fast.

So my journey started, kicking cancers butt. It felt like forever, it felt like it would never stop. It felt like a life time, and I cried so much asking when will it stop.

On the 18th May 2017, 457 days from finding out, I was done with my last drip. 52 needles 30 drips 32 days of radiation 4 biopsies 2 V markers 25 hours waiting 129 hours with a drip in 2 MIRS 5 ultra sounds 12 different doctors 4 hours in surgery

This week i reflect that 4 years ago my life changed. The little things don’t get me down now. No one will ever understand what fighting cancer felt like, unless you have or are still fighting. Words can’t explain what we go through.

I can’t believe it’s 4 years, it felt like it was a year ago. I’m so proud of myself for keeping myself together and fighting a fight that I was not prepared to give up or let get the better of me.

Wow 4 years!!!

“Hey little fighter soon things will be brighter!.”

To a friend fighting cancer there is an end. It doesn’t feel like it, but just like me, you will look back and smile.

To those who have kicked cancers butt or know of someone, it should not be a secret. The world needs more people to speak out about cancer.

And lastly to our friends who left us way to soon, we will miss you dearly and we think about you all the time.

Love to all and thank you, to all the special people whom came along for the ride!