It's a Portacath to the rescue!

It’s port day. It was a very early morning arriving at the hospital at 6:05am. Needles and me have never ever been friends. So when the anesthesiologist came to meet me, I told him how anxious I was with needles and just the thought was making me worry. He then suggested we do gas first and only after I’m out will he put the drip in. This sounded like a great idea. I was first on the list, which was great as I could go home at 12pm.

As I waited in per op a few tears ran down my face. I’ve been trying to avoid this day for many months and now it’s a reality that I have to do it. The anesthesiologist wheeled me into the freezing ice block of a room. Asked me to hope over to the operating table. I looked around the room wondering how do people work in such a cold room. They hocked me up to the machine’s. As I lay down Dr Nietz walked in. I think she saw the worry in my eyes and came and held my hand. I asked the anesthesiologist if the gas makes you feel funny as I’ve never done it before. I was starting to panic a little. Saying maybe I shouldn’t do it. Both him and Dr Nietz where amazing trying to keep me calm. They then held the mask over my nose and mouth and I could smell the change from oxygen to the gas. He walked me through the steps of what to expect and Dr Nietz was saying I’m going on holiday to the bush holding my hand the whole time. Tears started to run down my face as I could feel myself drifting off. My last works I heard was how are you feeling and I remember saying I don’t like the way I feel and then I was out.

It felt like 5mins and they where waking me up. But it was more like 40mins. I actually wondered if they had operated on me. There was no pain and I even asked do I have a drip in. I was wheeled out and back up to my room. About 5mins later Brandon arrived. A coffee and something to eat so that I could get out at 12pm. And then slowly the pain arrived. It started off feeling like I slept wrong and that feeling in your neck of a muscle cramp.

12pm arrived and I was allowed to leave and go home. Driving home the pain started arriving. It’s such an uncomfortable pain as it affect your jaw, ear, neck and shoulder. Turning your neck is so sore, so you just look straight ahead. The pain is more than my hysterectomy. So let’s see what the rest of the day brings!

Day 2 of portacath

I chatted to the Dr about the pins and needles in my neck and the amount of pain I was in. I had no swelling in my neck which was good as it means there’s no clot. She had said that if it got worse then I needed to go to the emergency room and ask them to book me in for pain management. This was the last thing I wanted to do.

So off to bed I went. As I climbed into bed I lay back down and it pulled on the port and catheter tail, to the point I just burst into tears. Tears that Addi had to see, that my Brandon jumped up to attention, tears that just streamed down my face. Trying to get comfortable was a mission and thankfully the round pillow that the brescia moms bought me made it a lot easier to sleep. I slept at 45 degrees and it was a night of awake then sleep, then awake and sleep and at 4am the pain was hectic that stilpain was the only answer.

This morning I work up to a message from the Dr checking how I am feeling. And atleast the pain was a lot better. If yesterday was a 10 out of 10 today was atleast a 6. We popped out to have something to eat so that I could take all my pills and came home to climb on the couch. At that point the tablets had kicked in and I was dozing on the couch. I then decided to climb into bed and have a good sleep. The pain I have is an irritating pain. A pain that shoots up your neck. Feels like whiplash. Moving your neck is sore. I hope all of this will be worth it in the end.

With this mind set you have to dig deep down to pull yourself out of the funk. Having a port means that I am sick. But turning it around saying that it’s here to help me. Not having to worry about finding a vein. Not running off to the nurse to check for a vein to put emla on. Not being anxious about treatment and how sore my arm will feel. 

Day 3 of portacath

After another not so good night, today I woke up and could move my head right and left. Whiplash was hardy there. My mood was better as I didn’t feel so terrible. I still had headaches on and off and if I got to busy I would feel it. But over all it was a better day. I felt like me again. It’s still sore don’t get me wrong I’m still having stilpain 3 times a day. Pain today is around a 4 today.

Todays video is the small bruising that can be seen around the port and then to the left is the catheter tail where I draw a line with my finger that you can see under the skin.

Thursday I see the doctor and then Friday is D day for the next treatment.

Day 4 of Portacath

So last night when I decide to just stand under the shower and sock up all the warm water the next minute I could feel the plaster coming off. So had to make do with 2 small plasters which is all I had. Make a plan. Last night was still a difficult night to fall asleep. I just can’t get comfortable. But some sleep was better than none.

Today was another day, still sore to move right and left but getting easier. Bruising and some yellow bruising has started to arrive.

My life saver this later afternoon was Candice Kuschke Physiotherapy. Last appointment for the day, Walking in with a stiff neck and shoulders to walking out been able to move again. She’s just amazing, she has the magic touch. Even though she is going through her own problems, she still managed to sought me out. Plus she always has such good energy.

Day 5 of portacath

Today is a better day. As I sit back and look at the last 5 days, I must admit the days where not easy however each day is better than the other. More bruising today with a lot more yellow bruising but the pain is better than yesterday. It’s extremely uncomfortable and it’s going to take some time getting used to it. So I will check back when I have test driven it and given it a few weeks to settle into its new home.

I have a follow up with Dr Nietz on Thursday to make certain that I can use it on Friday. Yes Friday is another treatment day. Wow they come round so quickly. I’m starting to get used to them and how quick they come round.

Can’t wait to have the plasters removed and actually see what it looks like.

Day 6 of portacath

My skin hates any kind of plaster. The plaster hurts more than the sore most of the time. Tonight the other plaster has fallen off and I have decided to just let it air tonight. I am seeing Dr Nietz tomorrow so she can let me know if I must find another plaster.

Sleeping is still another thing to get used to at the moment. I’m a tummy sleeper and I miss it so much. Hopefully not too long now.

Every day the pain gets better but I’m still taking 2 stilpain during the day. Stilpain causes other problems that you then have to take other medicine to help with that problem. So 2 a day is enough.

Tomorrow I get a good look at what the cuts look like and see the results so stay tuned.

Day 7 of portacath

Yes Yes Yes….. no stilpain today at all. Uncomfortable but the pain is manageable. I could scream it from the roof tops if I could just have 1 night where I could sleep on my tummy.

Today I saw Dr Nietz and man she’s just beyond amazing and sweet. So gentle as she removed the plasters from my skin. As normal I have had a reaction to the plaster so the red marks on my skin is actually from the plaster irritating it. I now just have to put the skin tone tape on the cuts for the next 4 to 6 weeks so that it doesn’t scare. And the port is ready to be test driven tomorrow for my treatment.

So before my appointment I popped into Donald Gordon to run bloods before I see the Dr tomorrow. My trusty nurse was there as I walked in the door I put my hands together and said thank you. She just laughed at me and said now? With no emla on hand, I said please don’t hurt me, be gentle. She said take a deep breath in and the needle was in. Yes I said. And then I said wait I don’t even have a picture. A quick pic before we where done. So I did bloods today so the doc has them when I have my appointment tomorrow morning just incase there any problems. My markers went up the last time so this time I would just like to see the marks test with him incase anything has happened. I can’t leave without saying hi to all the nurses in the chemo room. And show off my port. They are so excited for me and our catch up tomorrow.

Treatment tomorrow is I think number 20. I can’t keep up with the number of times that I’ve gone. So here’s to test driving my new port.

So for anyone considering doing a port tomorrow will be the day I can explain if it was worth it all.

Day 8 of portacath and 1st time test driving it.

So they said get a port it won’t hurt, they say get a port it make things easier, they say get a port it will change your life with treatments.

I got the port and it hurt when it was put in. However each day it’s getting better. Test driving my port was well painful and not nice at all when the needle went in. Treatment still takes the sane time. The only thing is my arm is not used and it’s just more comfortable.

Day 9 of portacath

Day 2 of no pain killers for my port. And last night I slept for the first time on my tummy. Heaven, like eating that piece of chocolate cake you have wanted for over 3 weeks. Even though my mind is racing and my sleeping has kind of gone out the back door. Plus treatment yesterday which makes me more awake then normal.

Today was the first day I forgot about the port. I could hardly feel it. Ok every now and then, if I do certain moves it does pull but not many today. If I look back at treatment and remove all the emotions from me, I would say it was alot easier than I thought. But with it being new, not knowing what to expect and my markers going up, I think it was unfair to judge the port. Who, I feel now needs a name? Not just port. So please leave your comments below are what you think we should call her?

Tonight’s picture is how amazing my skin is doing. You can see the bump on the skin just a little until you actually touch her.

12 days portacath and 5 days after treatment.

Finally I don’t feel the port that much. It’s just feels like something is there. And you see the little tail on the base of my neck which could also look like a vein sticking out. The bruising has come down and it’s healing so well. 

Neck is still very stiff but Candice Kuschke Physiotherapy is helping me get back on track. Weekly appointments and good chats always help. I think it’s important to see someone after this kind of operation as your body compensates to other areas. So when you think the right shoulder should be sore one, cause, it’s on the right side you have the port. When actually my left shoulder is the side that is sore. Muscles in the back and neck take over helping the side that the port is on. So releasing the muscles help so much.

Today was my cloudy day. It’s been a busy few days but this morning the fog and the light head was all there. The spots have started already on day 3 and have been so hectic this time round. They are everywhere and they really sore.

Other than that, I need to book my pet scan. I am trying not to over think things but my hamster in my head is running at full speed at the moment and wow it feels like the beginning all over again when I found out my cancer returned.

So with a new hair cut and a new Colour, some eyebrows (as the hair ain’t growing back) I could feel a million times better.

#mbc #cancersurvivor #port #cancer #1yearlater